He's Wet the Baby's Head

We took a trip out to Staines today, aye innit. It was Harriet's special day in the church, where a man wearing a dress splish splashes some water on her head and declares her member of a new gang. We sat with Nigel, Lynne and my chum Edward during the ceremonies, which was cool. We all played Star Wars Top Trumps.

Afterwards we had a little look at the river before heading off to Royal Holloway for a party. We had drinks and lots of food in Crosslands Bar, where Daddy used to do the same when he was a young impoverished student and where he later wooed Mummy. She must have been a very lucky woman.

Harriet looked lovely in her big dress, and she was lucky to have an enormous cake. Uncle Chris made a funny speech and we were all having a tip top time until things took a sinister twist.

I'm still a little shaken now as I type. You see, the Egham Child Catcher got wind of the afternoon's affair and gatecrashed. I managed to take this snap as he stole me away - enough of a clue for Daddy to come and rescue me. He looks distressingly like Uncle Nigel...

Come along kiddie-winkies, hahahahaha!

AMK

Bonjour tout le monde!

Apparently it's a small world out there: the entire globe is no more than a village, so they say. Teddington's a village and it feels pretty big to me, so I'm confused. But when the time comes to experience foreign climes I'm going to be prepared - I will become a cosmopolitan man of the world.

It dawned on me today, however, that some of my friends are already well on their way to developing a broader global view. Alice and Harriet, for example, have the benefit of being bought-up bi-lingual. Alice already speaks English and French (sacre bleu!), which is very clever. Harriet, meanwhile, also speaks English and Blackburn. Ask her where the nearest cashpoint is and she'll direct you to the closest ATM and/or the local hole'ith'wall!

CORRECTION: I've been reliably informed that Harriet is tri-lingual. You see, Auntie Karen is teaching her to speak Staines Massif, aye innit.

I will ask Nathalie to teach me how to speak Frenchy so I can read my Nicholas and the Gangbooks as they were written. Mangetout.

AMK