Fame & Family

Lady Gaga's love and hate relationship with the Paparazzi (as woefully articulated in her song of the same name) is beginning to strike a chord. I can tell you the make and model of Daddy's camera lens now as it's been pointing at me non-stop since we got home.

Still, mustn't grumble. The service continues to be top notch and there's now even a little variety in the menu: proper milk instead of that weird stuff. The only thing I don't like is being unceremoniously stripped naked every few hours to have my pants changed.

More visistors today. Nanna and Grandad came to see me all the way from another country! It's called Wales and apparently it rains there even more than it does here. Wow.

Visitors are nice because I get plenty of cuddles and new threads. When I'm a bit bigger I shall have more outfits than Gok Wan.

When Nanna and Grandad arrived, Nanna ran up the stairs like Dame Kelly Holmes, but I was being roughed-up by the midwife so she had to wait. But finally I got to say hello to them and they were lovely.

So, another day down. I've now met Auntie Stephanie and all my grandparents, plus I got a card from Great-Granny Margaret too. Things are shaping up nicely.

AMK

Auntie Brings a Bear

The day started peacefully enough, giving me chance to be shown around and to get acquainted with the people that run it (so far Mummy and Daddy are proving to be fine hosts).


A warm bed, good food and the service is marvelous: I hope to stay in some fine hotels during my time, but so far home is proving to be a very happy place.

Things got lively at lunchtime though, with Granny and Grandpa coming to visit. They drove up from their house in Wimborne just to say hello. One day I hope to be able to do a better job of entertaining but for now they seemed happy just to give me a cuddle.

They bought me some nice things too, including a lovely soft blanket that Granny made and a parachuting clown from Grandpa. They also brought some food for Mummy & Daddy. Talking of which, over lunch I couldn't help but over-hear some alarming discussions regarding my name; Grandpa seems dead set on Algernon.

Heaven help me at secondary school if he gets his way.

It's a little early for me to start thinking about a career, but Granny was talking about golf a lot and I'm hoping she might teach me how to play one day. A life on the Tour wouldn't be such a bad thing.

Granny and Grandpa left after lunch but then Auntie Stephanie arrived to say hello. It was the first time I'd been handled by a pro - top marks for technique! As if a professional cuddle wasn't enough, she brought me a giant box of things and a big red bear too. Mummy and Daddy took the champagne (laughably they think I didn't notice), but I got to keep the best stuff. Next time she comes I'm going to meet Big Phil.

Right, I'm pooped. (Another fine mess for Daddy to sort out.)

AMK

Home at Last

It's good to get away but there's nothing like coming home.

After the great escape I was exhausted and so was Mummy. We hunkered down in the hospital for the night and tried to eat as much as we could to regain some strength. I think I slept and ate better than she did.


The chap who helped me escape from the outside ("Daddy") disappeared for the night. He seemed keen to wet my head, whatever that means, but Mummy kept him chatting too long and he missed last orders.

Still, he came back this morning and kept us company all day. There wasn't a great deal to do (I guess we're still lying low) so I got some more shut eye and ate a little from the bags of juice Mummy hangs round her neck. I'm not sure I still weigh 8lb 1oz - my waistband feels baggy.

A couple of evil ladies broke into our hideout during the day. One put things on my ears that made clucky noises and another stripped me naked and roughed me up; the indignity of it all.

But by 4pm, after a quick dash to see a nice lady doctor who put her finger in my mouth (the minx) and listened to my racing heart to make sure it was drumming to a good beat, we finally made a dash for home.

And now hear we are: home sweet home. It's nice. I have an elephant rug.

AMK

Hello World

Today made a nice change from the norm. The dark and the damp, frankly, were becoming oppressive and I wanted out.

My first glimpse of daylight came at around 9am. But then nothing for hours.

Lunch came at 2 but by that time I had little interest and had decided to make a break for it myself. It took until 4.30 before anyone was really taking me seriously, but it's funny how fast things finally happen once you have their attention.

I'd made significant progress myself, despite little help from the one person I needed it most. But to give her credit, once things were underway she proved herself the perfect accomplice.

It was heavy, hard toil for both of us. But by working together we made short work of it and by 7.27 it was done. I had come out the other side and had my first taste of fresh air and freedom after 9 months of incarceration.

Now it's play time. Watch out world, here I come.

AMK